Confession

Hello dear world

As you know this is Monae Jenelle Doyle and on Thursday July 1,2004 I started a journal. Today I was doing a little thinking which is probably not a good thing.

Anyway.....this is my confession. When it comes to starting a journal there are many questions you ask yourself.....for example : What are you going to say ? Where are you going to start and would you want someone else to read it ?

Then as you begin you also wonder if you will discover anything new about yourself. You might even ask yourself haven't I learned anything yet ? Sometimes you even wonder if anyone will understand what you have said.

In writing this journal I have been silly, sad, quiet and even mad. Sometimes I might have said the wrong thing or I might have said something stupid. There are also things that I think I shouldn't have said. Oftentimes I think I should hold back at times. I know that I haven't been all that great at expressing how I feel but I still try. More times than not I have been quite hard on myself. At other times I have felt really terrible. I have also made more mistakes than I have things that are right. But a lot of the time I am filled with doubt.

I do have to say that I am glad that I started a journal. I have learned quite a bit about myself. Through my journal I have learned to open myself up which is still hard for me. I have also met many, many people who have inspired me, encouraged me and helped me to look at things in a totally new way. I have also learned that I may not know as much as I should but I am learning along the way. I don't really know if I have changed much but hopefully I have.

So as someone wise once wrote.....

" No matter what, you have to be yourself ! "

 

Thanks for listening dear world. Good-night.