Sunday, July 18, 2004

Being Single

Dear Diary,

Good evening dear diary . What I'm about to say I feel compelled to tell you . It's lonely never having had a boyfriend which I'm sure no one else would care to know . I would like to find someone to fall in love with not just someone , a guy . I would like to fall asleep with that guy next to me at night , I would like to go for a walk in the park with him , I would like to hold hands during a scary movie with him , I would like to share my day with him , I would like to talk on the telephone with him , I would like to see what it feels like to miss him while he's at work , I would like to watch him shave early in the morning , I would like to smell his cologne on his clothes , I would like to go to a restaurant with him , I would really like to share my bed with him during the day and during the night , I want to watch the news with him , I would like to do a million different things with him .  Dear diary is that too much to ask for ?

It's hard to sleep alone at night . I wake up and there's no one there . I have a million pillows but there's only me . I find myself wondering what it would be like to fall in love . I wonder about the things I would say to him and what he would say to me . I wonder if you are the only one who understands me dear diary . I just want to fall in love and I want for that someone to love me just the same . Do I dare to hope ? Do I dare ?

Monday, July 12, 2004

Just thinking

Dear Diary,

Today is July 12,2004 and here I am once again . I have to say that every day feels like I'm having the same day . Nothing has happened out of the ordinary for me as of yet . I am still coming to you dear diary and sharing all of my secrets as I have done before . You are my only friend dear diary . I still wonder if any one else understands my thoughts besides you . If someone were to tell me that they had read my diary I would probably wonder why . I don't think of myself as a interesting person . I know I really couldn't put my thoughts to paper because that's just too permanent for me . My thoughts on paper will most likely end up in some museum for curious oddities . I can't see my thoughts on display under glass for all of the world to see . I can't imagine anyone reading any of this . Someone like me would keep a diary locked away in an attic somewhere left to collect dust and mold. Age would simply yellow its pages and its edges tattered .

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Random Thoughts

Dear Diary,

Today is July 11,2004. I spent a weekend at Indian Springs Campground which was a fun trip. As usual I didn't meet any guys which really is no suprise. I spent a weekend with my family which was nice. I wonder if I'll ever find someone to love and someone who will love me in return. It's not like I'm waiting for George Clooney or Fabio to call me it's just that I'm hoping that someone will come along. Sometimes it feels like I'm invisible to the eyes of men. Dear Diary your probably tired of me complaining about this or complaining about that. Your the only one that I tell my thoughts to dear dear diary. Anyone else would probably say........ENOUGH ALREADY !!! Your the only one that I tell my secrets to which is pathetic I know. Who else would I share my thoughts with dear diary and what guy would love a woman who still finds a need to keep a diary ?

Sunday, July 4, 2004

4th of July thoughts

Dear Diary,

Happy 4th of July !!  People all over the world are in the middle of celebration while fireworks fill the night with clusters of light which dazzle the eyes of the young and old alike. Dear diary I am no poet so excuse my manner in which I speak which is without eloquence. Well enough with that let's get back to me. Today I had a wonderful day with my mom, my dad, my sister and my nieces. We had a picnic, time at the pool and we did the usual things that a family does which is sharing in one another's company.

Dear diary at this very moment outside of my window there are fireworks going off in the night . I can hear the pop and crack of all of them all and then there's different colors making the night explode into an amazing work of art that is caught in the night sky. The night sky is flooded with sound, light and color. Dear diary today was a day of too much perfection and I don't mind that at all. Today I was quite happy. Right now I'm not going to complain about not having a boyfriend or what have you I will save that for another time dear diary. Things over all were good. You have to remember that sometimes things will feel bad but then you also have to remember that things can go the other way too and that was the kind of day that I had. Good night dear diary. Happy happy happy happy 4th of July to all. 

Thursday, July 1, 2004

Late night thoughts

Dear Diary,

It's late at night and I feel like a million things flood my mind all at once. I talk to you dear diary more than I talk to anyone if that makes any sense. I don't know what people would say if they found out that I kept a diary. People would wonder about the kinds of things that I would tell you like what did I write about or who did I write about and why did I write certain things at a certain time. Its easier to talk to a diary than it is saying things out loud. I wonder if anyone else feels this way or if its only me. I'm probably not making any sense. Maybe I'm from another planet like maybe the 3rd rock from the sun, just kidding that was my attempt at humor. Who really cares anyway ? This is just thoughts that spring up inside me from time to time. I don't know how any of this makes me sense but these are my thoughts. This is my life thus far.

Ordinary Day

Dear Diary,

I am a 28 year old female. I am beginning to see that nothing eventful is happening or going to happen in my life. Every day is the same it seems. I don't have a boyfriend to tell my thoughts to so I come to you dear diary. It must seem weird that a 28 year should feel a need to keep a diary. Keeping a diary is like the government with all of its many CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS. My diary will not be a CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENT. I want people to see that I am a person who is becoming open with all of her secrets well maybe not all. Though I wonder who would be interested in such thoughts as mine. I come to you dear diary as a means of telling you of the things running through my head. I don't know how much I should tell or how I should tell it so I will come to you when I need to. I guess this is enough for now. We will no doubt talk later when I have more to share.